Say my name, Sun shines through the rain

[pne]

My name is Philip Newton. It says so on my userinfo page. It says so in the emails I send. It says so on the tooltip that pops up on some browsers when you mouse-over my userpic on comment pages.

I wonder why that is?

Or rather, consider this. A fair number of people I've met prefer not to have their name known, or reveal only their given name, or their middle name or nickname. Some will only tell their given name to friends; some try to conceal their real name from everyone on the Internet. I wonder why I don't mind it if people know my name?

Is it because I'm a guy? (Girls seem to be more reticent, in general, than guys to expose their identity; perhaps because they're sick of getting hit on by guys if they have an obviously female name.)

Is it because I'm older and am not as afraid of being stalked or something?

Or maybe because the Internet was simply different when I was younger? I have an idea that may play a fairly large part, mostly due to two things:

1. When I first started on the Internet, it was "smaller" and the people on it tended to be more tech-savvy and less like your "average Joe". This also meant that people's image of it was probably less threatening than it is today; fewer stalkers and similar "evil guys", simply because that sort of person probably wouldn't have been interested in the Internet back then.
2. When I was young, the Internet was not widely available. I had my first e-mail address reachable from the Internet (gated through a CompuServe service called "MHS"; our company's one "Internet-connected" computer dialled into a CompuServe machine every hour or so to pick up and send email) when I was 18. Nowadays, kids grow up with the Internet and so they're probably drilled on not giving out personal information (e.g. in chats) just as kids were told not to accept candy from strangers "in my day". When I was younger, that simply was not an issue since there was hardly no Internet in Germany when I was a young teenager (and the first Internet connectivity was e-mail only; FTP/WWW came later and chats/instant messenging quite a bit later). So maybe I never went through that phase.

(Incidentally, that may also be why I'm not a big user of instant messenging—it wasn't part of my Internet experience when I started out, so I never got "into it" much. I use AIM occasionally but forget to launch it more often than not. I have ICQ but my client has expired and I only used it twice or so anyway. I have no idea what my UIN is but it may be in my userinfo on LJ if I'm lucky. I also don't use a mobile phone and have rarely sent a text message to one.)

I don't know. I suppose everyone has reasons for keeping their name out of the public eye. But I think it never really occurred to me to hide my name—though occasionally I now wonder why this is.

I wonder which is the "natural" thing: having one's name open, or hiding it? Am I being weird, or they? Or neither? Or put a different way: did they make a conscious decision to hid their name? Or did I make a conscious decision to display mine? (It doesn't feel like that to me.) Or neither? Is the default for "new" Internet users "hide the name" and for old people "display the name"?

Hm... musing some more: people who've been on the Internet a long time also tend to use spamtrapped addresses a lot less, or so it seems to me. Instead, they filter aggressively, but they don't post their addresses as joeNOSPAM@example.com or joe@SPAMMERS-DIE.example.com or whatever. Perhaps this is part of the same thing? That "older" people are more open with their information, perhaps because the Internet used to be a friendlier place back then and that's the culture they grew up with?

Comments

[karen2205]

Googleability makes me slightly reluctant in some circumstances....if you search for Karen McAtamney you find a couple stories in the Oxford Student written about me which aren't entirely true.

LiveJournal is also slightly different to other places online - I'd really prefer it if neither my parents or my sister came across it - though they know about it in vague terms - and there's nothing I wouldn't mind them reading in any of my public entries. I just rather that didn't happen.

That said I generally don't have a problem with people having my real name or my postal address - what can they do with it? I'm much more protective of my phone numbers because I don't like marketing calls. Though, for me the most difficult thing I did was putting a picture of me online - without that I could always be anonoymous in some way, and as it happens this userpic is the only picture of me online anywhere.

I don't spamtrap my address, because I rarely post to newsgroups (only when I really need to rant/fight with someone) and as I understand, it causes great problems for those with visual difficulties.

FWIW I first used the internet when I went to university in October 1999 - so I've always been an adult online. My first mailing list was Merton99 set up by puzzlering in January 2000. I was introduced to Yahoo Messenger, MSN Messenger and indeed ICQ before IRC. I didn't start to learn HTML until December 2001ish - long after I'd first bought something online (a book from Books Online IIRC).

[opal1159.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I grew up with the "don't reveal personal info!" stuff. My first name is rather unusual anyway, which adds to the potential paranoia. I suppose if it were more common, I'd be more comfortable with using it on the Internet instead of an alias.

[volantwish]

I guess I'm mostly protective of my full name because i don't have a common first or last name. If you google my name, almost all the hits are me.

A

[pne.livejournal.com]

*quick google* Is the person whose name starts with A your brother? (The name that crops up quite a lot in Google searches for your full name.)

Re: A

[pne.livejournal.com]

Ah, hang on. *googles a bit more* Your sister, right? (I guessed the sex wrong from the name, obviously.)

[marikochan.livejournal.com]

I mostly just don't like to have my full name out in public, though not for any particular reason. My real first name is in a lot of my posts, and anyone who's determined enough could definitely find my full name. Mostly I tell anyone who asks, because I figure anyone who's asking is going to be someone I know at least in passing. =)

Re: A

[volantwish]

yup, my sister :)

[joyitude.livejournal.com]

-random comment which has nothing to do with post-
Was this- -c0ke- pne was looking for you on #lj_support 6 hours 1 minute 45 seconds ago (22.11. 07:46).

about your prodding me to get a review?
And when you say CC you, do you mean just CC you because you're my mentor and because you have to know these things or CC you because you want to do the review? Either way is fine with me.

[timwi.livejournal.com]

I don't mind people knowing my real name, so I'm not making a secret of it -- but I don't like people on the Internet calling me by my real name (I just like my nick better), so I don't put my real name in obvious places or else people will start to get to know me under my real name and only think of the nickname as a handle or identifier.

I'm sure you remember the entry I wrote in my journal about how much I dislike my first name. When I wrote that entry, I was in Germany, and I didn't think of the fact that the phonetic problems with the name that I described don't occur here in Britain (where I tell people to call me Arnie); but all the rest of it still applies. :)

However, as I'm sure you know, I didn't always use(d?) to use this nickname; up until some time in 1999 I called myself Arnie on the Internet. Back then I was pretty intolerant of people who were so paranoid to be afraid of telling me their name... My first nickname (which, if you really want to know, was as uncreative as "Wildlife Eagle" on ICQ and just "Wildlife" on 9-character-limited IRC) arose not out of a desire to make my real name a secret, but just out of "following the trend" to call myself after something I liked or was a fan of.

So yeah. That's my ramblings about this ... do feel free to ask questions if you have any :)

reviewing

[pne.livejournal.com]

Yes, it was.

And I asked you to CC me because I'm your mentor and would like to keep abreast of the current state of things, correct. Since I did your last review (and the one before that, too, IIRC), I probably won't be doing this one.

As you probably know, I think it's best to get reviewed by different people because everyone emphasises different things and has different levels of strictness (and also has expertise in different areas).

[bitterlight.livejournal.com]

In my case, the unwillingness to reveal my full name is twofold. First, that I'm cautious when it comes to the Internet; anyone could read my posts and have my information, which is why sometimes I'll protect a post for a passing mention of where I live, and suchlike. I suppose I am part of the "younger" generation of which you speak, though not the youngest batch of Net users, and was warned; and also, my last name is terribly uncommon, so if you try to track me down via it, you will find me easily.

Second, that I don't like my given name. It does not roll off the tongue. My first name consists of two syllables and has the emphasis on the second syllable, so it brings you up short rather than rolling into the next syllable. My middle name, should you care to use it (and I whap anyone who does), is my mother's birth name--I'd say maiden name, but she's still got it. It ends in -ing, so it brings you up short before the last name too. My name is not in the least melodious; it sounds like a sonata played by someone who's been taking violin lessons for about two days. My parents didn't bother to consider that by giving me a middle name that was a last name and a first name that had no logical nicknames, they were quite possibly saddling me with six letters and two syllables that I would be stuck with forever, like it or not. Predictably enough, I don't like it. I've never had the initiative or the opportunity to straight-up change my name; the right transition in life has never arisen and at this point probably will not. However, on the Internet, I have had the opportunity to try on names and images and discard the ones I don't like. If I can be anyone I want, why choose a name that I know isn't me? I'm bitterlight or Meredith online now, and only use my first name sporadically or when needing to send e-mail. I wouldn't have used my first name on LJ at all if not for the presence of RL friends. On the Internet, I can be more myself and less the person I'm legally named.

[bitterlight.livejournal.com]

Oh, and I have uploaded pictures of myself to my school webspace, which I don't use for any other purposes as far as LJ-ers are aware, and I've only linked to them in protected entries. I don't think I'll be using my own picture as a userpic anytime soon; I kind of use my userpics as projections rather than representations of myself anyway.

Meredith

[pne.livejournal.com]

Thank you for commenting.

Hmm... Meredith. I haven't heard you referred to by that name before, but it's a name I've found pretty for quite a while.

I believe it's originally a male name, but I've only heard it used for females. It's a name I might like to give my daughter, when we have children (though it probably won't happen unless we move somewhere English-speaking; I don't feel that name works very well in Germany).

Re: reviewing

[joyitude.livejournal.com]

That's what I thought. Since SO is acting all b0rky on me and only showing about 10% of what I've answered in the last week, I'll try and wait until it's fixed/semi-fixed.

And yes, I did know that, which is why I was a little confused when I thought you wanted to review me.

Re: Meredith

[nik-w.livejournal.com]

> I believe it's originally a male name

If I recall, it's of Welsh (or more likely Celtic) origin, and can be given to children of either sex, though definitely more common as a female name. It can also be used as a surname - one of my teachers in high school was called Mrs. Meredith.

Re: reviewing

[pne.livejournal.com]

Doesn't your "You Replied" filter (http://www.livejournal.com/support/help.bml?state=youreplied&cat=general) have at least 20 items in it? Then you wouldn't need SO.

Re: reviewing

[joyitude.livejournal.com]

I have a bunch, but only 7 were actual answers. Most of them are nags. (I went on a validation nag spree last night) So yeah. I'll try and answer some more questions, since I've been a little lazy recently anyway.

[fraught.livejournal.com]

I did make a conscious decision to hide my real name. Mostly it's because I'm paranoid :), and I just don't want people to know. My last name is very uncommon; anyone who shares it is actually related to me. I've heard a couple of stalker stories that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, plus, when I started getting online, everyone and their brother warned me to keep personal information as hidden as possible.

[jpallan.livejournal.com]

I keep my name fairly open but after I got into some major conflicts with people, I was more edgy about listing my last name, since it's so unusual, and it'd be easy to find me using that. Especially as I am probably the only person in the U.S. with my particular combination of last names.

Should I change my name in the future (I do assume I never learn from my mistakes and I will remarry sooner or later) and it's more common, I'll probably be more relaxed about it.

I also hang out on seamier parts of the Internet than you do. ;)

[n-true.livejournal.com]

LOL, just like pne caused confusion with using your User Pic, I now got confused when I saw your entry. I wondered why Philip would call his name unusual. ;)

[n-true.livejournal.com]

Almost the exact opposite for me - André Müller. :)

André Müller

[n-true.livejournal.com]

I don't make a secret of my full name either. I post it everywhere I can and may. Hehe, okay... well, at least sometimes I even register for programs with this name. In Newsgroups, on wer-weiss-was (http://www.wer-weiss-was.de) and on SETI@home. I don't really like my last name, actually I find it stupid to bear the most common name in Germany. I didn't make the decision to reveal my name. It's just that I didn't make the decision to hide it, so why should I? There's nothing to be afraid of, for me.

And I really like to know the full names of people. On ICQ and AIM I renamed everyone with their full names, if I know them. Easier to memorize for me as well. I think I have a very good memory for names, just like vocabulary; but names are vocabulary too, in a way.

[pne.livejournal.com]

Whatchu talkin' about? Google finds 347'000 hits for André Müller, and they're obviously all about you!

[n-true.livejournal.com]

Whoo, my secrect career as a photographer and children book author is revealed. Damn! ;)

[tinyjo.livejournal.com]

I am remarkably paranoid about this sort of thing for some reason. I don't mind people who Google for me getting my journal, but I wouldn't consider putting my surname in my displayed name - I don't think it's in my user info anywhere actually. I suppose it's partly that I can't think why people would need to know except to do things that I don't want them to do like randomly look me up so I don't put it out there. I'm not opposed to meeting up with online people, but I want to be in control of it.

[node-ue.livejournal.com]

Question - is your user icon a picture of you, or just a projection of your personality?

[node-ue.livejournal.com]

...because if it IS you, I think you're sexy.

My userpic

[pne.livejournal.com]

No, it's Martin, a stuffed animal (plush toy) I have. He's a duck, in case you can't tell (a lot of people think he's a platypus).

Re: My userpic

[node-ue.livejournal.com]

Oh. Well tell Martin I think he's sexy. grrrowl!

Why do you close your journal?

[(Anonymous)]

I used to enjoy reading your journal as a secret admirer. Now I cannot open your pages. Did you do something? Please help me make my day by open them again.

[cadenzamuse.livejournal.com]

I'm underage and paranoid and private anyway, so I don't tell most Internet people my name. (And this is a conscious decision. It would be a lot easier just to be myself; I'm not good at duplicity.) Readerville is different. Readerville people send me books and talk about life and mentor me and are wonderful, so several Readerville people know my name. I've met several of them; one is now one of my best friends.

I am going to say "mongoose" about not liking my name. It's too big for me. It doesn't fit. It sits uncomfortably...but I can't think of one that would be better. I'm sure I'll outgrow "Cadenza," but it fits well enough for online right now.

And then, as we've discussed, names = power. And it takes me time to have that level of trust that is giving my name to an entity built of letters and UPIs.