Cigarettes and computers

[pne]

Two colleagues had invited us to breakfast on the occasion of their birthdays: there were rolls, cheese, jam, meat, and other delicacies on the tables in the cafeteria. Unfortunately, I had forgotten about this (they had announced it yesterday) and had already had breakfast this morning, so I couldn't enjoy it as much as I would have liked.

Towards the end, some people were standing in the atrium outside the cafeteria and smoking. I was glad they had gone outside and closed the glass door behind them… that was better than "in the olden times", when they would simply stand in a corner of the cafeteria and smoke, letting all others partake of second-hand smoke.

This made me think of what a colleague had talked about recently, how his wife had unsuccessfully quite smoking and had determined that if she was starting again, she would smoke outside in order to cut down a little (on the theory that if she had to go to the inconvenience of leaving the house, she might not smoke so much).

This, in turn, made me think of what a discussion would be like between a non-smoker husband who likes to sit at the computer and a smoker wife.

I imagined the husband complaining, "I hate it when you smoke indoors. It's icky."

The wife responds, "Well, I hate it when you always sit at the computer. We both have to be tolerant and respect each other's preferences."

"Well, maybe—but I don't think you can compare them. After all, my sitting at the computer doesn't cause our curtains to go yellow and our clothes to stink."

"That may be. But curtains and clothes can be washed or new ones bought—but if you keep sitting there rather than spend time with the family, that's something that can't be bought for money or cleaned up so easily."

And that's what made me think. I had no good answer for that. At the beginning of the train of thought, I was on the side of the non-smoker. But if you look at the "grand scheme of things", I think the smoker has a point. Some annoying things are temporal and temporary; some are spiritual and eternal. Which is worse?

Or, to put it bluntly: given that you believe that families can be eternal, is it worse to do something that will cause damage to material objects, or something that will damage the family and marital relationships?

I'll have to think about this and its consequences a bit more.

(I'm still glad Stella doesn't smoke, though.)

Comments

[nik-w.livejournal.com]

Smoking leads to serious illness and often death - that's pretty permanent and damaging! Using a computer doesn't damage your health!

[pne.livejournal.com]

I thought about that, too; it's what prompted me to add given that you believe that families can be eternal (with the "generic you").

Smoking can cause you to be ill and die, but that "only" affects this life. If you consider life and family from an eternal perspective, the time on this earth is only a brief period compared to what can come afterwards.

If you consider life to consist of only this earth, it modifies the situation, of course.

[nik-w.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm not big on the whole spirituality thing, so I guess that does make death a much more final thing for me!:)

[timwi.livejournal.com]

I don't agree that the smoker in your role-play has a point. Just because someone (the non-smoker in this case) does something they think isn't quite okay (sitting in front of the computer all day), doesn't mean they have to "take revenge" by doing something the other person thinks is just as bad (smoking).

Also, the curtains and clothes stinking are just a direct consequence, but those in turn have more consequences that are more serious; most notably, the damage to health due to passive smoking, but also the simple uncomfortability of the smell and the resulting not-so-happy family atmosphere, or what about if they have children and smoking makes for bad education in terms of responsibility and stuff like that... Of course, some of that equally applies to overuse of a computer, but it doesn't follow that you should smoke.

[pne.livejournal.com]

I didn't have the feeling that the smoker started out of revenge; rather, that they were addicted anyway and simply used the behaviour of their partner to justify or excuse their habit.

You do make some good points, though.

[elgrande.livejournal.com]

But doesn't smoking also do damage to the family? I think the non-smokers in the family will feel uncomfortable, when the smoker is smoking around them and they will be disgusted by the smell their clothes have. Moreover, it shows you don't even care about your family's health and only think about your own interests. And isn't it just terrible when a smoker seems to be distracted by his cigarette from what you are telling him?

I think smoking does both physical damage and damage to the relationship within the family.

Anyway, I can't understand why so many people start smoking cigarettes. I mean everybody knows how bad it is for one's health, how bad it smells and how difficult it is to quit once you've started. With this knowledge it's only reasonable and simple just not to touch the stuff at all; why most people start it anyway is above me.