child : orphan :: parent : ?

[pne]

Just read something in the AWAD newsletter:

we have a name for a child who has lost a parent -- orphan; 'widow' describes a woman whose husband has died, and widower for the male counterpart. But there is no term to describe a parent who has lost a child -- there are no words adequate for that pain.

And it's true; there's no word for that—nor in German, either, for that matter.

Comments

[sovereigna.livejournal.com]

Do you mind if I copy that into my journal?

[pne.livejournal.com]

Go ahead.

[sovereigna.livejournal.com]

Thanks heaps.
Appreciate :)

[catamorphism.livejournal.com]

there are no words adequate for that pain

I don't know that that's necessarily the reason why there's not such a word. Perhaps a more likely explanation is that until recently -- and it's still true in many parts of the world -- having a child die was so commonplace that no word seemed necessary, and since this became less common there hasn't been time for a new word to enter the language.

[pne.livejournal.com]

I don't know that that's necessarily the reason why there's not such a word.

*nods* I agree.

Though the possible reason I came up with was that when a man was the main bread-winner, a woman losing her husband also lost her main source of support, much like a child losing its parents, whereas a parent losing their child isn't in such a bad situation economically, so there needn't be a word for it - just like losing a sibling, for example, for which you also don't have a word, possibly because it doesn't affect you materially.

until recently -- and it's still true in many parts of the world -- having a child die was so commonplace that no word seemed necessary

That's an interesting point, though; I suppose that could also be part of it.

[fridoline.livejournal.com]

On the other hand there were also many women who died giving birth, leaving their children half-orphans. But usually the father would marry again soon, so that the children would be cared for.

By the way, I have heard parents who lost a child being called "orphaned parents" - "verwaiste Eltern". But it is of course not the official word for that situation.

[ubykhlives.livejournal.com]

One could argue that, all going to plan, this tragic event *should* never happen. The fact that we don't have a word for such a concept probably reflects our lack of desire to deal with the concept at all. I know I sure as hell don't want to know anything about it.

"No-one should have to outlive their own child." - Kurt Russell, Stargate