Plane or train, part the next

[pne]

Stella said that during the day, she can imagine flying, but at night when it gets dark, she gets second thoughts.

We talked about travelling this evening, and she recounted some of the things which could go wrong—for example, what if Amy gets upset when the plane is in motion and refuses to be calmed down?

My gut feeling is that things will be all right in the end and that even if some things go wrong, we'll survive it. (That I won't get a meltdown myself from being around a screaming Amy, for example.)

Stella asked whether we really need to decide this now; I said I'd prefer to book the flight as soon as possible due to the volatility of the prices; they might not sell all the seats for an August flight in February, but there's no telling when the cheap seats will be gone.

At the end, Stella said she'd decide whether we'd fly or not by March.

Her preference, FWIW, is still to take the night train. She did say tonight, though, that if Amy and I end up flying, she thinks she should join us so that if something goes wrong she can console Amy. (And it's true that if Amy is upset, she all but ignores me and goes to her Mummy instead.)

So, we shall see.

Comments

[nyssa.livejournal.com]

Just out of curiosity, how old was Stella the first time she flew? Might that have something to do with it?

[pne.livejournal.com]

The only time she's flown so far was when we went to Greece together - that must have been around 2001 or so, when she was nearly 23.

[edricson.livejournal.com]

Flying in dark can certainly be an unnerving experience. A fortnight ago I was returning to Tromsø on the night flight to Oslo, and in the end we couldn't land because of the weather and had to fly back. In between, we spent almost forty minutes circling over Tromsø. Being in the dark, seeing only the lamp on the wing blinking and knowing you're somewhere between the sky and the mountains was not particularly pleasant. Of course, Switzerland is not as far away from everything as Northern Norway, but I'd imagine a small child could get scared. Anyway, best of luck with whatever the decision is!

[anicca-anicca.livejournal.com]

Just to add a little optimism - flying might suck for the environment but it's so safe, and what's the problem about flying in the dark - the pilot has to do the flying, and he's used to the dark, to the clouds, to the fog, whatever. And kids love it, too. It's exciting, not scary! Flight attentants take special care of children, too, and keep them busy. Really small children sometimes freak because they can't make sense of the change of pressure during take off and landing. But yours is old enough to be told and given chewing gum or something, and besides, I'm really sensible when it comes to that, I used to hate it when my ears were popping, but it hardly ever happens any more that this change is even noticeable.

(PS I guess it's a matter of what you do most - ask me how I feel about driving or going in the car with someone... :(

[pne.livejournal.com]

and what's the problem about flying in the dark

I guess I was unclear; she said that when it gets dark here, she worries more about flying (in the abstract) than when she thinks about it during the day. That is, it's "thinking in the dark, about flying" and not "thinking, about flying in the dark".

My plan was to fly in the early afternoon, mostly because I don't feel like getting up super-early for a 7 o'clock flight nor like getting home at ten at night (there are three flights a day HAM-ZRH on Air Berlin), so darkness during the flight is not likely to be a problem, especially in August.

And kids love it, too. It's exciting, not scary! Flight attentants take special care of children, too, and keep them busy.

Thanks; that's good to hear since I have no experience.

But yours is old enough to be told and given chewing gum or something

My plan was to give her something to drink and hope that swallowing the juice will help open up the ears.

As for flying being safe, I've told her that, too, but perhaps it's a phobia, in which case the fear is, by definition, irrational and thinking rationally about why the fear is not useful won't help too much. (Like explaining to someone that they're not going to fall off the cliff just by standing on the edge, or that spiders aren't going to eat them, perhaps, if they have fear of heights or of spiders.)

She also said she's not worried about flying but about falling out of the sky, or of what happens if there's an air pocket and the plane drops suddenly and Amy flies out of her seat belt and around the cabin - even though a friend of ours who's a stewardess said she'd never ever experienced one herself, only been told about them during training.

[fridoline.livejournal.com]

You are aware however, that usually the very early flights are the cheapest? The "comfortably during the day" ones are generally more expensive.

When we flew to Rome last year, the children were a little bit scared during take-off, but calmed down as soon as the plane had settled into "cruising mode". By the time we flew back, the children knew what to expect and were less frightened during take-off, just a bit tense and nervous.

With Lufthansa, the child has to sit in its own seat for take-off and landing, which was a bit unfortunate, since the children hat rather been on my lap for comforting. But we managed to cope with the situation anyways.

[pne.livejournal.com]

You are aware however, that usually the very early flights are the cheapest? The "comfortably during the day" ones are generally more expensive.

*nods* At the moment, the return flights are all €1 (+taxes etc.) for Tuesday and for the flight there, the difference is €9 vs €19 (+taxes etc.), so I haven't looked into earlier flights. Especially since at the discount prices, it ends up being around the same as taking the train.

And thanks for sharing your experience.

[anicca-anicca.livejournal.com]

That is, it's "thinking in the dark, about flying" and not "thinking, about flying in the dark".
Haha... I wouldn't recommend thinking in the dark about flying in the dark then...

Yeah, no reasoning phobias away, I'm afraid. Heights and spiders, tell me about them...
And most people aren't afraid during the flight but more during take-off and landing and think anything will lead to a crash.
About air pockets, listen to your stewardess friend. And you can tuck Amy in. Use a cushion to prop her up a bit, for example.

But maybe you or she can relate to this: I was at some point in danger of developping a fear of flying, which was annoying because I have to fly more or less once a month. I got rid of it myself with the help of a little trick or autosuggestion which went like this: (I'm rather proud of this, actually... *blushes and modestly lowers eyes*).
I recalled my feelings on my first flight. It must have been a rather bumpy one because I remember thinking that I hadn't thought flying was going to be bumpier than going on a train. But I had nothing to compare it to and I found it soo exciting, I was 19, on the way to my first holiday in Greece, and I loved it!!!
Now, the physical signs of excitement and fear are basically the same. On this first flight, I'm sure my heart beat quickly and my palms were sweaty, but I didn't interpret this as fear.
So from then on, whenever I was on a plane and my heart started to race and my hands were getting sweaty, I persistenly told myself: "Oooh, this is soo great! I absolutely love it! It's so exciting..."
And it worked. I only had to do this for about 5 flights, and the fear had gone, along with the physical signs. I hardly notice going down and landing any more.
The second trick was to watch the flight attendants. It's not likely that they're on this job because they have a secret death wish, so as long as they're calm, I can be.