Who uses which language

[pne]

Yesterday at supper, I had said something to Amy and Stella, thinking I had been speaking to her but not having heard me, asked me to repeat myself.

So I said it again, verbatim (i.e., in English).

That seemed to amuse Amy quite a bit. "You spoke to Mummy in English!" So I said, "Oh no! Now she didn't understand me!"

And Stella said, "I can!" Which amused Amy again.

So I talked a bit about who uses which language to whom.

I asked Amy who speaks English to her. "No." Does Aunt Elaine speak English to her? "Yes." Auntie Jennifer? "Yes." Aunt Ireen? "Yes." Grandpa? "Yes." Oma Inka? "Nooooo. You're being silly! German!" (Heh.)

What about Frederick? "English and German." Emily? "German."

Can I speak German to you? "Nooooo." Can you speak German to me? "No." So interestingly, she seems to feel fairly strongly that we should only use English between ourselves.

I wasn't that surprised at the first of those last two answers—I think it would feel odd for me to speak German to her now, much as it feels extremely odd for me to speak German to my father (I try to avoid it if I can), but I wasn't sure what to expect for the second question. I was a little surprised, but gratified, that she seems to feel that the language she speaks to me is English.

Perhaps that's a function of time, too. While she used to speak a fair bit of German to me in the past (no surprise; it's her stronger language), she's used more and more English to me as time has gone by (and, presumably, she feels more confident in her vocabulary and her grammar). So perhaps she feels that now she can use only (or, at least, predominantly) English with me.

Fortunately, she's also not afraid to make mistakes, for example, when she doesn't know a form of a verb. (Though she does hesitate sometimes and try to remember a word rather than reach for the German one immediately.)

And when I repeat what she said (which I do frequently, as much to ensure that I understood her correctly as to provide the correct form or word), she doesn't seem to take differences from what she said as criticism for using a wrong word.

So, all in all, yay! I'm rather chuffed at Amy's competence in English and her willingness to speak it to me.

Comments

[polarbee.livejournal.com]

Did you start teaching her English at a certain age or has she always learned both?
I'd like my husband to teach our kids Russian and am wondering when would be a good time for him to do that. (Of course, me only knowing a tiny amount of Russian means it isn't spoken in the house much.)

[musicus.livejournal.com]

I think it would be good to start right away with the other language.
a) because the baby will get used to the sound from the start and will find it familiar
b) it is a bit awkward and weird to speak a "wrong" language to someone. If you get used to talk to the child in one language then it feels strange to start speaking to it in a other language (have done so with a friends child)

That's what I heard of and experienced

[pne.livejournal.com]

Well, I never thought of it specifically as "teaching" her English -- I simply spoke to her in English since she was born.

The first few weeks felt odd, because I thought she wouldn't understand anything anyway, and with no reaction from her, I had to remind myself to speak English.

But after a while, it simply became natural, and when she was old enough to speak, she learned both languages, simply from hearing English from me and German from Stella.

Stella's English was negligible when we married, but she said she learned English about as quickly as Amy did, simply due to the fact that I used simple words and said the same thing many times when I spoke to little Amy, so she picked up some from listening to me. And while she doesn't feel confident enough to speak it, she reckons she now understands just about everything Amy and I say to one another.

So I wouldn't worry about not knowing Russian too much -- your children don't know any, either :), and chances are you could learn while they do.

I did the "one person -- one language" (OPOL) thing, which seems to work very well for us (I only speak English to her, always, and Stella only speaks German to her, and so she can associate each language with one person and keep them apart); I've read about other bilingual families who sort languages by situation (e.g. at home/outside) or by day (e.g. Tuesday is English day). If you do decide to try bilingual education for your children, pick whatever works for you.

So if you did do the OPOL thing, then IMO the best way would be for your husband to speak only Russian to the children. (I can also imagine that speaking one language consistently - rather than sometimes the community language and sometimes the foreign language - will make it more likely for the children to use the foreign language actively to the speaker, since they associate it more strongly with him.)

Whatever you try, I wish you success!

[zompist.livejournal.com]

From studies of bilingualism I'm aware of, pne's method (one person one language) is the most effective. Kids are not magic; as the "tu non puoi!" example quoted above shows, they don't appreciate the extra complexity added if (from their point of view) it's unpredictable who's speaking what language. More complicated schemes are also harder for the parents to manage and tend to be abandoned.