Pocket money for Amy

[pne]

Stella and I had a talk last night wherein she suggested that it might be time for Amy to start getting pocket money. (I think in the US this is usually called an allowance?)

What prompted this[*] was that, Stella said, Amy often sees things she "needs" (though when she speaks English, it actually comes out as "meeds", as in "I meed that"), whether it's clothing or sweets or whatever, and having a finite amount of spending money of her own that might help her realise that things cost money and once you've bought something, you have less (or no) money left, so it's better to ration the money and to think twice before buying something.

I asked Stella whether she would also be telling Amy about tithing and she said that she wouldn't force her to deduct tithing but would tell her about it and let her choose, which seems fair enough. And since the tentative number we came up with was a euro a week, she thought she'd give her ten 10-cent pieces which would make it easier to figure tithing, as well as possibly feeling like more (I can imagine that at Amy's age, it might well be "one money" for €1 vs. "ten moneys" for 10×10¢...).

Related question: did you get pocket money as a child? How often, how much, and starting at what age? Did you call it pocket money, allowance, or something else?

When I was a child, our pocket money increased automatically at each birthday... I think that by the time we were old enough to get pocket money monthly rather than weekly, it was 5 marks more a month at each birthday, but it's been so long I don't remember the details well. I do remember that at one point, my sister Jennifer got 50 Pfennig a week, which was the cost of a Kinder Milchschnitte at the time, and that that was her basic unit of currency: when we talked about money, she'd ask how much that was in Milchschnitten.

Any other amusing incidents relating to pocket money?

And what were you expected to buy from it? I remember that another boy had to buy clothing from his pocket money, and that he delivered newspapers in order to earn enough money; our pocket money was purely for "luxuries", since basics including clothing were covered by our parents. (Though if we had wanted specific clothing, or (say) new shoes even though our old ones were still fine, we probably would have been expected to buy that ourselves.)

---

[*] My first thought was "Der Auslöser dafür war..." but I couldn't think of a good translation for "Auslöser", and dict.leo.org (including a brief skim of the relevant forum entries) didn't provide anything good either, so rephrasing seemed best.

Comments

[eva]

Hm, I got pocket money, but I don't really remember how much. I think I started in Kindergarten, probably with 1 or 2 DM per week. I recall that at some point, I got 20 DM per month, which could be used to buy a moderate-sized box of Playmobil with a bit of saving. The amount I got increased with age, but as I started earning considerable amounts of money with my music relatively early, I didn't need/want pocket money anymore at some point. At the time where other people my age got perhaps 100 DM a month, I made several times as much anyway. During my last year of school, I was at 1000 DM per month, through playing the organ in at least ten services and directing four two-hour choir rehearsals per month. I had taken an advanced exam in church music, so I got higher rates than those lesser trained or untrained.

When I was small, my pocket money was for "luxuries", as you call it. In the end, shortly before I left school, when I wasn't getting pocket money anymore, I bought pretty much all of my stuff myself, including clothes. Larger spending, such as school trips, were usually shared, and if I needed something extra, my father would usually give me what I asked for. We had a pretty relaxed attitude towards this kind of thing, as I am an only child and there was no need for being fair to siblings. My parents and I shared books (which is what I spent most my money on), no matter who had bought them.

Amusing incidents? I dimly recall that my parents told me that I once came back from Kindergarten with money that I hadn't previously had, because I hat bartered with other children and managed to get quite a small fortune from some bonbons. I was discouraged from doing that again, though.

I think the idea you have about using ten 10-Cent coins is a good one - I'd imagine that it would be hard to make a very small child understand that the one funny-looking coin is worth ten times as much as one of those shining coins - especially if the one with the higher value says "1" and the others "10". Perhaps you could also find something that Amy likes (like I did with my playmobil or your sister with the Milchschnitte) that is in the range she could afford with the pocket money and tell her "with your pocket money for this week, you can buy one of these, but then you'll have to wait until next week to buy another one". That makes understanding money so much easier.

Oh, and I remember a serious misconception I had when we went shopping together. At some point, I saw how my mother was handed change, but I hadn't seen her paying anything before. So, I assumed that she had not had enough money with her, so the person at the registry handed her the amount she had not had in the first place, so she would have money again. At that time, this concept made perfect sense. I'm still not sure if we should perhaps try it out as a basis for our economy.

[leora.livejournal.com]

Books were the one thing I never spent my own money on before college. It didn't occur to me to do so. I just always assumed that I'd regularly be taken to book stores and given time to pick out several books that my parents would buy for me. It was just the way the world worked. It's one of the things that I have come to feel really fortunate about.

[conuly]

Oh, and I remember a serious misconception I had when we went shopping together. At some point, I saw how my mother was handed change, but I hadn't seen her paying anything before. So, I assumed that she had not had enough money with her, so the person at the registry handed her the amount she had not had in the first place, so she would have money again. At that time, this concept made perfect sense. I'm still not sure if we should perhaps try it out as a basis for our economy.

My uncle used to think, as a child, that you went to the store to get money! AND things, how lucky! Because you give one bill to the cashier and get more bills and coins back, of course.

My mother has told me this so many times that I just kinda nod and don't pay attention, so imagine my surprise when the three year old niece, when asked to pay the (pretend) toll one day piped up that she couldn't, she hadn't been to the store yet!

[squigglz.livejournal.com]

I got pocket money, but not until I was about ten years old, and it was $2 a week. (Granted, I was raised by my grandparents, who thought $2 a week would be enough for lunch wherever I wanted every day.) I wasn't expected to buy anything in particular, though-I could get whatever I wanted. It was 'extra'. Couldn't buy my own clothes and stuff until I had an actual job at 16, though.

Most of my amusing incidents with pocket money were realizing that I hadn't bought the stuff I needed for a school project and having to run to Clover (now defunct store that was about a mile away-easy walking) to get it with what little allowance I had left (I would invariably remember this on a Sunday evening, by which time my Friday allowance was mostly gone).

[catyak]

Kit gets £1/week at the moment, and he's grasped the concept of saving up for expensive toys and what happens if he spends some (as in it takes longer to reach his target). It helps with the maths, providing practical examples of why you need to be able to add and subtract. He was getting $2/week in the US because when we first went over last year that was equivalent to £1 and confusing him with the concept of exchange rates didn't seem quite right.

D

[psitticism.livejournal.com]

I got an allowance of $2/ week starting when I was 7 or 8 and ending when I was about 12 or 13 and old enough to babysit or otherwise earn the money myself. I had to complete a list of chores every week or I would not receive my $2, and my parents were very strict about it. I would buy smile face cookies at the bakery around the corner or stickers at the pharmacy. Sometimes I'd save up and buy a stuffed animal. I suppose I could buy whatever I wanted, since I had to work for the money.

[lnbw.livejournal.com]

I did, and we called it allowance. I don't remember when it started, but probably around 5 or 6? We (my brother and I) got 10 x our age cents per week -- e.g. when we were 6, we got 60¢ per week. (This changed when we were teenagers, when we started having to pay for clothes and entertainment.)

[tungol.livejournal.com]

Hey, that's the same quantity principle my parents had for allowance! I don't think I've ever encountered anyone else who had it that way before.

[anicca-anicca.livejournal.com]

Starting in 2nd grade, I got 1 DM per week (this is the 1970's) which lasted me about 2 minutes. The coin was handed to me on Saturday mornings and I immediately and invariably went to the store to buy the new Felix comic, which cost 1 DM at the time.

I wasn't expected to spend it on anything particular. Reading stuff that I couldn't get from the library, or music is what I usually bought. (1 hit single was 5 DM at the time, so it took me a whole month to save up for one, ouch...)

From 5th grade on I was given 5 DM per week, in 6th grade 6, and so on.
I also got a food allowance of 2 DM per day for the canteen, for those days when I couldn't come home for lunch, too, which I saved sometimes (often).

From about 15 onwards, I tried to earn some more via odd jobs.

[liv]

I didn't get pocket money as a kid, and I really passionately wanted some. My parents reasoned that they bought me everything I needed, and that was entirely true, I was well-fed, and supplied with more clothes, books and toys than I could reasonably use. But I wanted to be able to buy things I didn't need, but just felt like having, such as sweets or turns at games at charity sales or toys that were not necessarily educational. Or even things that my parents would have bought me anyway, but without having to ask them for money, just being able to get them when I felt like it. I begged for 10p per week; I didn't want my parents to spend a lot of extra money on me, I just wanted to have some tiny amount of control over my own life and ability to express my own tastes.

I don't think I had trouble understanding money or arithmetic without pocket money. It was talked about enough that I could easily grasp concepts like "if you save up you can buy one big thing instead of lots of little things," or "you might want something but not be able to afford it".

I think it's called an allowance if you're expected to buy your own clothes and meals outside the home and bus tickets and stuff, which IMO doesn't make sense for a kid and may or may not be reasonable for teenagers. It's pocket money if it's just for fun stuff, while your parents are still providing all the essentials.

[leora.livejournal.com]

Where I lived it was always called an allowance, and it didn't matter what the conditions were. Allowance just implied money you got on a regular basis from your parents.

We did not use the term "pocket money".

And I also managed to pick up a lot of money management skills before I got my allowance. Although I have no idea how I managed to do so. My parents don't seem to have much in the way of money management skills and they pretty much never talked about bills with us. Money matters were just generally not seen as a topic for children to be involved with. My father dealt with what needed to be dealt with.

I think I'd have been a bit better off if I'd had more awareness of how various real world details worked, but I think college helped a lot. College meant that I had some bills of my own, like my telephone bill. And I was buying my own textbooks and groceries. But all of my utilities were bundled into my dorm room cost, which my father paid for me (except for summers). So, I had to do some budgeting and money management, but it was a lot easier than dealing with everything. Which was a nice chance to grow into doing more.

[conuly]

I asked Stella whether she would also be telling Amy about tithing and she said that she wouldn't force her to deduct tithing but would tell her about it and let her choose, which seems fair enough.

That seems very reasonable, so it means something to her, right?

In the US, people recommend that young children get between half their age and their entire age in dollars every week. And that's definitely an allowance :)

[pne.livejournal.com]

In the US, people recommend that young children get between half their age and their entire age in dollars every week.

Ah, thanks for that guideline, too -- since I have no real idea how much is reasonable, and remembering my own childhood (or hearing others' experience) is only of limited usefulness since so many things have gone up in price since then.

To a first approximation, a dollar is a euro, so a euro a week for a four-year-old doesn't seem too much then. (Stella's mother had originally suggested €5 a month, and when told that monthly pocket money is completely unsuitable for a child of that age, had suggested €1.50 a week, which would be closer to "half her age in dollars".)

[bluewingedcat.livejournal.com]

We got an allowance, but we had to earn it by doing chores around the house.

[bluewingedcat.livejournal.com]

I never got much of it though, because my sister would get up early and do all the easy chores off her list AND mine, then leave me all the nasty chores (like scooping up the dog poop in the back yard.) All my parents would see is that she'd done a bunch of chores, not that she'd done a bunch of MY chores and I hadn't done any so I'd get nothing and she'd get all the money.

I asked her once why she kept doing this, in front of my parents no less, and she flat out said "I do it because I don't like you." The only thing that came of that was the allowance stopped and we had to keep doing chores. So she kept doing what she had been doing because then we just got yelled at for not doing chores.

Have I ever mentioned I hate my sister?

[pne.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's... special.

[bluewingedcat.livejournal.com]

*nod* This, among other things, is likely part of why, when I went in to have testing done for autism, the psychiatrist also came back with a recommendation that I see about counseling for mild Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

I did not have a normal childhood. It wasn't completely horrible, but it definitely was not what could in any way be called normal.

[conuly]

Wow.

[lexabear.livejournal.com]

I got an allowance, although I don't remember when it started. I remember in middle school (ages 11-13ish) I was getting I think $5/wk. There was no set time it would automatically go up; I renegtiated it with my parents every couple of years. In early high school I was getting $10/wk. In 8th grade (the last year of middle school, age 13ish) my best friend was getting a $100/mo allowance (which was meant to include school supplies, clothes, etc) and I was so jealous because that was so much money. My smaller allowance was just for luxuries. In 7th grade I saved up to buy a CD player ($120ish) and was very proud of my frugality.

[nyssa.livejournal.com]

I believe I got $5 USD per week starting in kindergarten, and it went up a dollar per week every year past that ($6 in first grade on up to $15 in tenth). Then, my allowance was changed to $150/mo., with the caveat that I now had to supply everything for myself, other than utility bills and rent. When I got my own place in 2007, it was raised to $700/mo. which included rent and bills. That's what I'm still getting now, and what I will continue to get until I graduate college.

[pyr8queen.livejournal.com]

I got $1 a week when I was around 5 (in the early-mid 1980's), and then it gradually increased to $5, then $10 (in high school, I think I got $20).

The things we were expected to buy were: lunches or movies when we went out with friends, video games or toys, and accessories that were not considered "necessary".

[quinctia]

I had an allowance, and it was also tied to chores. I didn't start getting one til I was kinda old, looking back, maybe eight or nine or so? It's one of those oddities where I don't think my parents thought of it til my sister was getting old enough.

I got $2 a week for awhile, it got bumped up to $4, and then to $8 my first couple years of high school. I basically had to buy everything "extra" with it. I got clothes and things when I needed them, daily lunch money, and like one sort of snack a week with the weekly groceries (like one bag of pretzels or something if I wanted).

I never really got extras like toys or games outside of Christmas and my birthday, so if I wanted something else, I had to buy it with my own money. I saved up for a Sega Game Gear when I was 11/12. I remember it was $120, so it took quite some time. I also remember they stopped making games for it a couple years after that, while the gameboy lived on in its pea soup monochromatic blah well past that.

When I was in high school, if I had a school-related trip, they would help pay for it, the fees or what have you, (though I saved up and helped with a trip to a national convention down in florida) and give me a little bit of money to pay for meals/snacks.

Actually, this "trip help" went on a little bit after that, because I went to an amusement park with my boyfriend the summer after my first year of college, and my mother gave me money. I had just been worried about getting permission, because my boyfriend was living in New Jersey (about 800 miles away) and had to do a ton of driving, and we were staying overnight in a hotel.

I think the fact that I got such a relatively small allowance has contributed to the fact that I hoard money. Not that this is a bad thing, though sometimes I overthink about buying something relatively inexpensive.

[leora.livejournal.com]

I didn't get allowance until I asked for it. My parents said they would give me money when I wanted it (implied, to reasonable amounts), so I didn't need it. But I wanted an allowance. Before that, I had lunch money, but that was meant to be spent at school to buy lunch. I was given enough lunch money that I could either buy or not buy dessert, so there was a little bit of opportunity to affect how much money I had, but I didn't think of it that way.

I got allowance when I was in Middle School, which was useful for budgeting outings with friends. Generally going to a movie and buying some pizza. Sometimes just buying some food and playing games at someone's house. Although by age 12, I was also supplementing it with money from babysitting. And then I also got additional money from my brother out of pure guilt on his part, which I won't go into in a public post. So, I had a fair bit of money in middle school. In High School I pretty much ended up spending all of my money on food though.

I don't think it was an ideal system. I think a reasonable budget for small kids is a good idea. Generally just for extras they want and you're okay with them having. I wouldn't want a very little kid having the responsibility to budget for meals and being told, oh well, you spent too much on food three days ago, I guess you go hungry today. It's nice being able to buy some ice cream or a comic book just because you want to. And learning to make those choices does help.

I know that it took me many years to get a feel for which things I wanted I would truly and enjoy and which ones would be shiny and cool for fifteen minutes and then I'd realize how boring they were. I don't always guess right which things I could buy will really work out well, but developing that skill is important and having more of it has certainly helped me.

[tungol.livejournal.com]

My siblings and I got an allowance of 10 cents (Canadian) per year of age per week - e.g., when I was 7, I got 70 cents a week. I think once it hit a dollar a week it stopped there even when we got older. We could buy with it pretty much anything, as long as our parents thought it was okay - mostly I bought candy or toys; after a certain point I got quite good at saving it and using it to buy big things rather than spending it on candy.

My parents tried something for a little while where we could make extra money by doing household chores, but it didn't last.

[tungol.livejournal.com]

Tangentially, I always find it a bit disorienting to realize how much less I got for allowance than most people who got allowance. I never felt when I had it that my allowance was too little (though it did take a long time to save up for big things, some of which cost a hundred dollars or so), so seeing people who got 5 or more dollars a week always feels extravagant to me.

[kait-the-great.livejournal.com]

Oooh somewhere to share experiences.

My brother and I had only about $5 / week until we were at least 10 I think, then it increased and only ever maxed out at around $15/week.

We were only expected to set and clear the table and keep our rooms tidy for this amount, plus help on any Spring / Fall cleaning days where everyone was doing chores.

It was intended to pay for sweets, toys, etc. My parents were never the kind to give into buying treats while at the store, or paying for the mini rides at the mall (e.g. the small painted elephant that rocks back and forth and plays terrible music for a minute for a dollar).

Anything else material we wanted had to be asked for as a birthday or Christmas or Easter gift. Any more money could be made by doing extra chores. We were given $X per family member we were expected to buy a gift for at Christmas. If we were invited to a friend's birthday party, Mom covered the price of a gift up to some maximum.

On vacations, we would be paid either in Canadian dollars or the same figure in the local currency, whichever made more equivalent Canadian dollars.

While I was in Brownies (junior Girl Guides) I had to pay my weekly fee (I don't know why they didn't have the parents pay up front - maybe it was meant to be a mini money management lesson) and my parents added that amount to my allowance and then I had to pay it. This ensured I saved at least a dollar or two for Brownies every week, even though it should have been trivial since it was in addition to my base amount.

When we were a little over 10, my Mom set us up with two daily-banking accounts and got us banking cards so we wouldn't have to handle as much cash, and started paying us a monthly clothing-allowance (allowing one account for "everything" and one clothing account).

It was $30 a month and we were expected to buy enough clothes for ourselves out of this (not including shoes or formal wear). At the time, this was quite easy and allowed us to save up for special clothes we didn't need. If we wanted to buy brand-name clothing, we could pitch in our own money for the luxury. One store we shopped at had a warrenty that would cover replacement clothes if we wore them out before we outgrew them. She made us handle the exchanges if we wanted free new clothes so that we learned the value of following through on warrenty claims.

I'm really good with money now, and even if my brother doesn't have a lot and has some loans out with my mother, he appreciates that they are LOANS and he isn't going to have anything substantial handed to him without strings attached.

Amy is really young and I can't remember what we did at her age. Depending on how soon my children can reason and before I start doing an allowance, I think I'm going to do simple cost comparison. "You want that sweet. But, if you don't buy sweets 4 times, you can afford a toy. Which would you rather have?" They can have the short term gain or the saving up, even if it's not their money yet to worry about. We can do the reasoning without the arithmetic-on-the-fly required!

So there're some ideas to ponder when coming up with your own plan.

[kait-the-great.livejournal.com]

Just a follow up now that I've read everyone else's... I do feel like it was a fantastic system. I'm planning on following the same framework with my kids once Lino has had his input worked in.

Also, just a funny add on, my mom was so good at not buying random things like sweets at the grocery store that she de-programmed the kids in her daycare and they stopped asking her pretty quick (even though she could have bought them and charged the real parents with the way her daycare was priced out). Of course, they still asked THEIR parents...