What made you friend me?

[pne]

In relation to this meme I posted, I thought I'd ask one of those questions to you, dear readers.

Do you remember why you friended me? Why was that, and roughly when?

I friend people for a variety of reasons; some friend me back, some don't. Of those who do, it's not always expected, and there are some people who friended me first (some of whom I've friended back, some of whom I haven't). I wonder what brought you to my journal, and what made you decide to "stay". (Or what made you decide to let me into your journal, if you friended me mostly or partly to put me onto a "trust list" rather than a "watch list".)

And, if you want, ask me anything you've always wanted to know about me.

Comments

[darth-spacey.livejournal.com]

I don't recall how I stumbled upon your journal, but I added you to my friends list (which is definitely much more a watch list than a trust list) simply because you're a Conlanger. I kept you because you continue to prove yourself an engaging and erudite journal-keeper and writer.

[fledchen.livejournal.com]

Hrm...I think I stumbled across you in either a general language community, or maybe a braille community? I'm not entirely sure.

[sparkofcreation.livejournal.com]

Not to sound rude, because I don't mean it that way, but when I friended you I had too few friends (both LJ and RL) and way too much time on my hands, and I was friending just about anyone who friended me first (which was probably only about 5 people at the time). And then by the time life got crazy again and I started culling my friends list, I cared too much to de-friend you. (I don't friend people I don't know IRL anymore.) Other than that, I can't remember specifically why I friended you except that you friended me first. I think.

[pne.livejournal.com]

(I don't friend people I don't know IRL anymore.)

That seems to be fairly common -- or at least for people to know the majority of their LiveJournal friends IRL. (There's one person where I'm the only one on her friends list whom she doesn't know IRL, for example.)

Though it's something I think of fairly rarely unless reminded, since I tend to extrapolate from my situation (namely, that I met most of my friends list through LiveJournal, and have actually met only rather few of them). That does mean that the dynamic between me and my friends is different than in other journals, where poster and commenters tend to have more context in common, perhaps.

So I sometimes sit near the walls in the virtual parties that are people's journals, since I don't know (m)any of the other commenters in the journals who've friended me, but in general, I still appreciate being able to follow their lives as much as time allows.

And, of course, it's a nice feeling when I hear of people who enjoy reading my journal or who care about me.

[lnbw.livejournal.com]

If your recollections are correct, I guess you friended me first... I really don't remember! Which means I probably friended you back because your posts were interesting, and because you were interested in linguistics.

I don't really have a "trust list" -- at the moment I read everyone's posts.

[tungol.livejournal.com]

I must have started reading your journal and sometimes commenting in the first half of 2004 sometime; I know this because elgrande found me in your comments section and added me that summer. I don't remember how I found your journal, though; perhaps you mentioned it on Conlang list? Anyways, I started reading it in part because I recognized you from the Conlang list, and in part because you had interesting things to say.

I've never figured out what exactly my friending policy is; it's neither exactly a watch list (since there are a number of journals that I read without adding) nor exactly a trust list (since there are people whose journals I read without adding who I trust as much as or more than some of the people on my friends list). I guess it would be approximately correct to say that for me to add someone, either I have to know them in real life, or the adding has to be mutual.

Anyways, I guess eventually decided that I'd been watching your journal long enough I might as well add it, and as you might remember I asked you if you would add me back if I added you. That was in November 2005.

I guess I mainly like your linguistics posts and some of the other geeky posts you write (the ones that aren't too specifically computer-technical).

[pne.livejournal.com]

as you might remember I asked you if you would add me back if I added you.

Yes, I remember that request.

[missysedai.livejournal.com]

I don't remember when, and I don't remember how we found each other on LJ, but I do remember why!

You were my first "fan letter" at GA, my harmless stalker. Something about your tone amused me. You were (and are) gently funny and sweet. I've also never found you to be the "play games" type. I trusted that you weren't one of those Creepy People way back in the day and I still trust you now. You're just...sensible.

(Also, there's that whole "German people = decent human beings" thing, if that makes sense to you. Being ethnically German and having lived in Germany, I feel like there's a sort of family connection.)

[pne.livejournal.com]

I don't remember when, and I don't remember how we found each other on LJ

I don't remember, either, but I do remember that you found me! I think there was a comment out of the blue from you, somewhere.

*digs around in Gmail for the oldest comment notification from you* Hm, no, can't find it. ... duh, of course I can't, since you gave me the Gmail invitation, so by the time Gmail was archiving my comment notification emails, I already knew you.

I think I vaguely remembered that you searched for my username on a lark, since I had the same account name on GA? Anyway.

You were my first "fan letter" at GA, my harmless stalker.

Hee... though I think you were rather surprised at my first email to you :D until you talked about it with some... co-workers? ... and they convinced you that by European standards, that wasn't as stalkerish as you at first thought, or something?

But yes, I guess I was rather a fan of yours on GA. I held you in rather high esteem, even though I didn't read GA often enough to "get to know" the styles of many researchers. (I think pinkfloyd was good one, though.)

And thank you for your kind words.

As I've probably said before, I'm glad you found me and let me into your life; I enjoy reading about you, the tone of your writing, the stories you tell, and your attitude as a parent, which is something I admire.

[jordik.livejournal.com]

I don't remember when. The why was either because I stumbled upon your journal through a friendsfriends thing, or through a post in one of the communities we are (or were) both in.

My friends list is more a "to read" list anyway.

Plus there is the German Bruderschaft thing ;-)

[ubykhlives.livejournal.com]

I probably discovered your LJ through n_true (through whom I found out about LiveJournal), but I believe I friended you because I then discovered that you were that Philip Newton (i.e. the one whom I had seen kicking around the KLI mailing list). It would have been not long after my LJ first woke up, which was in August of 2004.

...wow, that long?

And I'm still with your journal for several reasons; partly conlangs, partly just because I enjoy reading what you have to say on many topics (a refreshing change from the mind-melting, disappointment-inducing dribble that so much of the Internet is composed of these days), and a little bit because I don't have very many LJ friends. Fairly few of those comment on my journal any more, and I don't write very often, so it's nice to know someone who's an LJ constant - if I don't get on the site for a couple of weeks, I'm just about guaranteed to see a couple of interesting posts from you on there somewhere.

Hope you don't mind my staying about!

[pne.livejournal.com]

Hope you don't mind my staying about!

Not at all!

[elgrande.livejournal.com]

Must have been at the beginning of 2003. I recognised your name from sci.lang either when reading n_true's journal or when reading linguaphiles. At the beginning, I particularly liked your language-related posts and still do, but now I also like the other geeky things and what is happening in your life. I usually skip your computer-related entries, though.

[nitaq.livejournal.com]

meqlIj bIH meqwIj.

[lexabear.livejournal.com]

I friended you after following your journal link from linguaphiles (and maybe also the Foxtrot feed) because you tend to post interesting things (computer- or child-language-acquisition-related mostly, but also random interesting links and notes). I tend to skip/skim your personal stuff, although it's interesting to see Life in Germany. I always worry when I randomly friend people that it seems stalkerish or that they'll feel obligated to friend me back when I know my journal is the more boring run-of-the-mill this-is-what-I-did-today sort of thing. So I'm glad to see that you welcome random one-way friendings!

[pne.livejournal.com]

So I'm glad to see that you welcome random one-way friendings!

It depends on the person! I do tend to get a bit surprised if someone comes and friends me "out of the blue", and some people I'm more comfortable with than others.

Thanks for telling me what you did, though; I was never quite sure where you had "come from" or what you were here for. Welcome (again)!

And I'm glad that not every reader expects to be friended back :)

[elgrande.livejournal.com]

"It depends on the person! I do tend to get a bit surprised if someone comes and friends me "out of the blue", and some people I'm more comfortable with than others."

I didn't know you get surprised about that. I just added you back then because I thought it was the simplest way to read your journal regularly and didn't think anything of it. But well, I suppose your feeling of surprise must have worn off in the four years that you've been on my friends list.

[pne.livejournal.com]

I think part of the surprise is having someone whom I don't know previously discover my journal and consider it worth reading.

And yes, the surprise is more at the moment of friending rather than during the whole time that I'm on someone's friends list.